Not The Answer, The Path

[Tha_Furst_N]

I just saw this website promoted on MTV2, and I immediately got a name and registered. "I can feel it in my walk, in the very way I talk, it's in the air I breathe, and everything I see. All that I know, is it's hard to let go, what choice should I make? Sometimes it's hard to know." This is my mantra. I came up with this years ago, and i'll never forget it. Just a lil something about me before I get this off my chest.

I'm a man without history. I grew up in Willowdale, North York, and on my 8th birthday I moved to South Ajax, which was a predominately white suburban neighbourhood. I can't remember the first time I got called a nigger, but I do remember chasing a kid around with a bat because he did. It's actually surprising that a fat white kid could run that fast when motivated actually haha. Anyways, with or without realizing it, children of minority will always be reminded or enlighted to this fact at some point in their lives. It's just a fact of life. Yet why are we a minority? That's something to ask, but to find the answer you must journey through time. Not fictionally in a time machine, but mentally between the lines of history that time forgot to teach us.

Lately I've started to formulate a belief that Africa was ravaged by war at some point. That the People of Africa were massacred and lost a brutally devastating war. Now the question of whether it was a war against Nature, or men of other races is not for me to say, however I believe that either way our misfortune of loss in those times was the root cause behind the exploitation of our race. Our ability to rule and govern ourselves as a people was lost over time and this was used against us to enrich the lives of other races who had found unity in their likeness. It sounds farfetched, but it answers questions that don't have answers as well. I don't feel that Black people ever had a power structure similiar to the way that White people governed themselves in their more than available historical background. You can see in the streets today at the basic level of survival we tend to gravitate towards the safety of the mob, the gang, the pack. It's inherent traits like these that make for the root of put downs, and insults, that we are "less than men" or just plain niggers. We are merely the way we behave in the eyes of the white man.

When you look at Africa today, you can see warlords ravaging the countryside. Millions of innocent black people are slaughtered for being black. The self-hatred is so rampant, that it's much easier to look away. However when my eyes look at my own homeland, that i'm so fortunate to call Canada, all I see is much of the same. Rampant drug trade, and gangland mentality overtaking the young black youth. To survive, to maintain, to live as the lions do is not something that anyone finds reason enough to question, it is merely the way of the world it seems. In this land of many rights and freedoms, I still see inequality, and the efforts that people make to carve some sembalence of a legal existence scoffed at. Yet looking at roots in Africa, and those that have the power, how can anyone blame them? Gangster Rap, or "reality rap" is merely holding up a mirror to a world that believes to much in it's own righteousness. God Save The Queen, In God We Trust. Where is God now?

Rather than turn this into a religious piece, I only want to say what I've learned along the way in these 22years on Earth because I still have a lot more to learn before I can piece everything together. It's an undeniable fact that to change the world, you must first become the change that you wish to see. I don't want repirations from any white man for things that cannot be undone. I don't even want an apology. Rather, I only wish to be given the freedom to rebuild my shattered kingdom. Yet all I see in this dream is impossibility. Africa covers about 6% of the world's surface and is home to the kings of the jungle. In this Global jungle that profits off of Sex, Drugs, and the proliferation of War, how can it be possible to ever rebuild a Kingdom that could not stand together and repel the will of the world around it? Even if we wanted to help Africa, it seems that there are so many within the country itself that do not wish to see our help ever reach its people. Where the reasoning behind ethnic cleansing comes from I don't know, but it seems so rampant that within a matter of decades it could very much be a reality. The world stages cringes at reminders of what Hitler did to the Jews, and it's easy to attach a singular face to the evil that was his ambition, but how does one polarize what is happening to Africans by the hands of other Africans? How does one classify this?

I can't even begin to organize all the thoughts, all the scenes, all the information, all the truths that I have been made aware of because it all just leads to more questions. This is the path that i've chosen though, to ask these question, to seek those answers, to tread this ground, and i'm so glad to know that there are others who feel this way. The only way to reverse these trends is to give sight to the blind, and purpose to the masses. How is it that the information on how to perform a certain type of dance can be circulated so quickly, yet how to build back up our neighbourhoods without resorting to drugdealers is something that no one seems to care about? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE?????? I love to party and have a good time, and laugh and joke, and sing and shout, but with so far to go, and so much to overcome, so much to say, and so many to save, how can anyone just be focused on themselves? What kind of legacy will the children that come after me have to gravitate towards? I don't want white people thinking we're cute, and striving to imitate us. I want them to respect us for being people who are strong in their solidarity. I want them to work with us, not put us to work. The only place on Earth where people are allowed to suffer the insufferable is where Black people are the majority, and the only people that they can hope to come save them is God. However, we all embody God on Earth, as crafted from his image as we are, so the only ones who can TRULY save them, is the rest of the Black Community. Otherwise, it only seems like God has forsaken them. If we can't reach out to help the rest of us truly in need. If we can't look beyond the circumstances of our birth, the hardships of our lives, and the struggles as people, than we might as well just all do our own thing. Snap our fingers, and adorn ourselves with jewels and bury ourselves like pharohes.....i've said more than enough.....and no one will probably read it....but this is the warning shot.....this shit will not be allowed to stand, and for as long as their is breath in my body I will come to realize the answer that lies at the end of this path. One.